I’m done with chemo treatment number 5. Eleven more to go! How time flies (or crawls) depending on the day. My side effects are about the same as last time with one improvement – no more roid rage! I asked my oncologist to lower the steroid dose and he did. My head is not spinning anymore since my FOLFOX/Erbitux treatment. I woke up both yesterday and today at 4:30 a.m. which is very early for me. But I have been very awake in the daytime as well so there are definitely still effects which will wear off by tomorrow. But no big deal.
I’ve just finished “Lonesome Dove” by Larry McMurtry so that I can thoroughly enjoy John Spong’s cover story celebrating the 25th anniversary of the movie for the July edition of Texas Monthly. Great book, incredible writing as I’m sure alot of you already know. But as a former-Californian and for you non-Texans, it has helped me understand some of the mindset that makes Texas stand out as a very unique state (or state of mind). Highly recommend reading it if you have time to read 945 pages! It really flew by. Now I’m on to watching the movie (2 DVDs worth) so I can appreciate John’s interviews with some of the actors that made the story come alive.
Change of subject – One silver lining of being on this new journey is that it has given me some clarity of mind. I look at all the things I used to worry about and think “what was that all about?” Of course, old habits die hard as I sometimes find myself falling back into the old pattern of thinking and begin to worry but then I shift my thinking back to my new reality. I love this quote:
“I’ve had thousands of problems in my life – most of which never really happened.” -Mark Twain
So much for worrying!
Some of you have asked me how I can handle all of this, stay so strong, have such a positive attitude, etc. (all very flattering by the way even if not always true)! I quickly learned that it’s best to stay as much in the present as possible since it’s imagination that tends to bring on fear. Just one day at a time. It’s all any of us have!