Treatment-Free and Dancing Once Again

April 18, 2012 by

In my life with “NED,” I happily embrace every milestone I can get my hands on.  Birthdays, anniversaries — and yes, even my kids’ science projects — are candidates for funny hats and chocolate.

Today (belatedly), I’m cheering my one year anniversary of being treatment-free as of Saturday, March 24, 2012.

A year ago (March 24, 2011) I was unhooked from my chemo pump and set free to recover from the havoc wreaked on my body.  No more hours in a sea-foam green La-Z-Boy recliner with an IV pole decorated with bags of toxic chemicals hanging over me.  I had just finished three-months of post-surgery “just-in-case” chemo to kill any rogue cancer cells that might be floating around in my body after my unusually successful surgery to remove a second tumor.

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Good News Again!

March 9, 2012 by

My mom and I just got back from MD Anderson Cancer Center last night after our 4-month check-ups.    Good news -  my scans look clean again and my tumor markers are in normal range!  My non-mucinous colonic-type appendiceal adenocarninoma is still outta here. My mom’s very slow-growing low-grade B-cell follicular lymphoma is stable with no progression so there is no need for treatment yet. Great news for both of us! Read the rest of this entry »

A Life-After-Cancer Collage

February 13, 2012 by

A friend pointed me to an inspiring interactive piece in the New York Times.  It’s a photo collage of cancer survivors who discuss some of  life’s biggest challenges and successes post-treatment.  Just click on any photo to read that person’s point of view.

Source: New York Times

Second Cancerversary: Mental Gymnastics

February 10, 2012 by

Sunday, February 5, 2012 was my second cancerversary.  The day back in 2010 when I had a CT scan that revealed the 6.5 cm mass in my abdomen.  My ob/gyn thought it was probably ovarian cancer but it was not that dreaded disease.  Just a very rare and aggressive cancer: non-mucinous appendiceal adeoncarcinoma.  Two years later, I am still on the planet and have no evidence of disease.  Cause for celebration, right?  On my first cancerversary, I was definitely more upbeat.  But this year, I was filled with intense mixed emotions.

My husband and kids woke me up on Sunday morning to breakfast in bed, a candle in an almond croissant and yummy coffee.  They made cards celebrating “Super Mom,”  ”Happy 2nd Cancerversary,”  ”in awe of your awesomeness,” and “Congrats on another year on the planet.”  Wow!  They were so excited that I had made it through two more years. Read the rest of this entry »

Upon Reflection

January 25, 2012 by

Amazed,  grateful and humbled are all words I used to describe my feelings after my November 30, 2010 surgery to remove the remains of my second appendiceal adenocarcinoma tumor.  After this debulking surgery, I had no evidence of disease (NED) and a new chance at life.  As I mentioned in my last post, I am grateful for enjoying my first cancer-free year as of November 30, 2011.   So much to be thankful for, right?

But then I was blindsided by overwhelming feelings of sadness, anxiety, pain and loneliness shortly after this first anniversary date.  I cried at the drop of a hat, wasn’t able to get anything ready for Christmas, and barely made it to my daughter’s piano recital for our duet.  To top it off, I couldn’t even go with the family to pick out the Christmas tree.  Instead, I was crying on the couch and feeling overwhelmed. Craziness!

The fact that I had a very brief breast cancer scare on the first anniversary of my life-changing surgery probably started the cascade of emotions that I was going to feel over the next month. Then a couple of appendix cancer folks passed away.  And then, ironically, I learned that the one-year anniversary was probably the main culprit.  I know the anniversary of a loved one’s death can be very difficult.  But the first anniversary of my renewed chance at life? What was there to be sad about?

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A Couple of Milestones

December 12, 2011 by

What a year. What a month already. I’ve crossed some significant milestones in the past two weeks.

Nov. 30 was the one-year anniversary of my big surgery at MD Anderson to remove my second tumor after successfully shrinking it with IV chemo over six months. I remember laying on the gurney in pre-op, all hooked up to the IV, anticipating the wave of drugs to put me out. Unexpectedly, a chaplain showed up and asked if he could say a prayer for me. It hit me again how difficult this surgery was going to be. When a complete stranger offers to pray for you, it is no small matter. The 7-hr surgery to remove a DEAD but very stuck tumor went well and I escaped the need for the HIPEC portion of the surgery. Whew.

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Good Results All Around

November 17, 2011 by

My mom and I just got back from MD Anderson Cancer Center after having each of our cancer status re-evaluated. Mom’s B-cell follicular lymphoma is stable so no need for treatment yet since it’s very slow-growing and incurable (save the big guns for later). You can follow my mom’s caringbridge.org site here.

My status is still NED (no evidence of disease)! We were like two happy kids after our doctor visits today. We were trying to keep the expressions of happiness to a minimum until we got outside the building as I am so aware of what it feels like to be on the other side.  Boy, it was a great day!

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Moving Forward Anyway

November 4, 2011 by

I had a little scare last week.

A little tenderness and pain sprang up in my lower right pelvic area, the same spot as my first two tumors. Uh oh!  Was this another tumor or just scar tissue causing problems with my colon? The tenderness/mild pain kept up for almost a week.  My local oncologist poked around my belly but didn’t feel anything, so I decided to  just wait until I go to MD Anderson for my quarterly check-up in two weeks.

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Team “Not Dead Yet” Rides Again

October 19, 2011 by

Some friends from Portland, Maine flew in to do the Livestrong Challenge Austin bike ride last weekend. Team “Not Dead Yet” has flown down from Maine for the past few years, bikes in tow, spreading their brand of “Lobster Love” to central Texas.  The team’s fundraising for the ride contributed towards the overall $2.4 million raised by the 4300 Livestrong Challenge Austin participants this year (2500 cyclists, plus 5K runners/walkers).  It was cool to see that 100 percent of donations to the Livestrong Challenge Series go directly to support cancer programs and initiatives.

It’s bizarre that half of the eight guys on this year’s “Not Dead Yet” team are cancer survivors. Too much cancer going around for all of us “young” folks.

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Thanks, Steve.

October 6, 2011 by

from Steve Jobs 2005 Stanford Commencement Address…

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything – all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.


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