One Rogue Cell

A friend pointed me to an inspiring interactive piece in the New York Times.  It’s a photo collage of cancer survivors who discuss some of  life’s biggest challenges and successes post-treatment.  Just click on any photo to read that person’s point of view.

Source: New York Times

What a year. What a month already. I’ve crossed some significant milestones in the past two weeks.

Nov. 30 was the one-year anniversary of my big surgery at MD Anderson to remove my second tumor after successfully shrinking it with IV chemo over six months. I remember laying on the gurney in pre-op, all hooked up to the IV, anticipating the wave of drugs to put me out. Unexpectedly, a chaplain showed up and asked if he could say a prayer for me. It hit me again how difficult this surgery was going to be. When a complete stranger offers to pray for you, it is no small matter. The 7-hr surgery to remove a DEAD but very stuck tumor went well and I escaped the need for the HIPEC portion of the surgery. Whew.

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My mom and I just got back from MD Anderson Cancer Center after having each of our cancer status re-evaluated. Mom’s B-cell follicular lymphoma is stable so no need for treatment yet since it’s very slow-growing and incurable (save the big guns for later). You can follow my mom’s caringbridge.org site here.

My status is still NED (no evidence of disease)! We were like two happy kids after our doctor visits today. We were trying to keep the expressions of happiness to a minimum until we got outside the building as I am so aware of what it feels like to be on the other side.  Boy, it was a great day!

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I had a little scare last week.

A little tenderness and pain sprang up in my lower right pelvic area, the same spot as my first two tumors. Uh oh!  Was this another tumor or just scar tissue causing problems with my colon? The tenderness/mild pain kept up for almost a week.  My local oncologist poked around my belly but didn’t feel anything, so I decided to  just wait until I go to MD Anderson for my quarterly check-up in two weeks.

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Some friends from Portland, Maine flew in to do the Livestrong Challenge Austin bike ride last weekend. Team “Not Dead Yet” has flown down from Maine for the past few years, bikes in tow, spreading their brand of “Lobster Love” to central Texas.  The team’s fundraising for the ride contributed towards the overall $2.4 million raised by the 4300 Livestrong Challenge Austin participants this year (2500 cyclists, plus 5K runners/walkers).  It was cool to see that 100 percent of donations to the Livestrong Challenge Series go directly to support cancer programs and initiatives.

It’s bizarre that half of the eight guys on this year’s “Not Dead Yet” team are cancer survivors. Too much cancer going around for all of us “young” folks.

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from Steve Jobs 2005 Stanford Commencement Address…

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything – all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.